Transitioning from College

Every transition in life is tough. Growing up isn’t easy and growing old isn’t for the faint hearted. Everything in between? Just the same. We’re all on a sometimes scary, often mundane, bright, beautiful, dull and joyful ride here on earth. One of the most fearful transitions is that from college into “the real world.” Why? Because for the first time perhaps, you are learning to leap and hope the net appears. You’ve truly “grown up” in the eyes of other adults, yet you still may feel the need for someone to help you or feel like you’re just “not where you’re supposed to be” in life.

Let’s tackle some of these super real emotions. And, face it, being considered an “adult” has changed over the last few generations. Many youths were already married with kids by the time most are now graduating college. And, by the way, if you’re a soon-to-be college grad, congratulations! You’ve made it through one of the most challenging times in your life. While things may still seem hard, be kind to yourself knowing that you’ve pushed your personal boundaries and are being honored for your hard work. Seriously, awesome job! So now that you’ve hopefully felt a big pat on the back from me, let’s talk about some of the changes that will be coming up…remember, you can do this!

Changes with Friends and Social Circles

Now that you’ve finished your projects and taken all your tests, will you see your dutiful study buddy after graduation? Hopefully! But, your life may have also taken different paths and you may find yourself surrounded by a new group of coworkers that you spend more time with. Also, your friends from school might have taken jobs in other states or countries, or perhaps have to work odd shifts as they start in their new careers, leaving it harder for you to schedule time together.

Whatever your friend situation looks like, cherish the memories and try to stay in touch with your most important relationships. Perhaps you have on your calendar to check in with your favorite professor once a month. Or, try to get your college friends together every season, finding a fun activity that will create new lasting memories. And, introduce old and new friends. This is a great way to keep your circle growing and allow your loved ones to make their own connections aside from theirs with you directly. This transition can also be a good time to comb through your social circle and perhaps distance some relationships that were time or emotion-draining. While transitioning can be hard, you now have a fresh chance to make your social world what you want it to be.

Love and College…Love and Marriage?

Lots of people think that they are supposed to get married right after graduation college, or maybe before. Marriage is an agreement between two people to love each other and support each other, no matter what, forever. (Whoa!) So, no need to pressure yourself if you’re thinking that you’re “supposed” to do this or that.

It’s better to take a deep look inside yourself and at your relationship when deciding whether that’s right for you. If you got asked now, what would you say? Do you get scared or excited when you think about it? If you get scared, you might want to examine why. Is it because you know your partner isn’t the one for you? Is it because you’ll feel “locked in” and not your own person anymore?  And, if you’re excited, then, woo hoo! You’re on the right track it would seem. Unless you feel like your partner doesn’t think the same way…then you might have some things to work on. Either way, if relationship issues are bothering you to the point where you just don’t know what to do once graduation hits…consider seeing a counselor. Why not? It could help you sift through some feelings and you could even try to have a session together if there’s anything you want to work on. And, long story short, don’t stress yourself out on marriage. You know what’s best for you!

Logistics and Where to Put the Futon

Next up on the list of college graduation stressors….logistics! You know, fun things such as: furniture, where to live, where to work, clothes for your new career, insurance, etc. All of these things become much more important once you graduate college. For example, do you have a job lined up? Is your lease with your roommates up at the same time as graduation? And, do you not have much as far as furniture goes? What about suits, scrubs or work clothes for your next phase in life?

It all costs money and time. No way around it. But, with a little inventiveness, you can figure it out. Here are some tips:

• Goodwill + Craigslist = furniture
• Clothes Mentor = gently used professional clothes
• Zillow = rental properties

Letdowns & Silver Linings

Okay, so I’d like to pretend this isn’t part of graduating college, but well, it is, so let’s dive in. And, it’s at this point that a lot of college aged people come to see me. Basically, you may have been top of your class, glowing with awards, praised for your genius….only to end up (take your pick) counting money, stacking papers, getting coffee, waiting tables, typing data, and being supervised just as you were at your very first job ever.

It won’t feel good, but it will get better. You know the whole “you need experience for the job” but you can’t get any because you don’t have experience? This is where you may have to create your own success while sucking up the fact that you are back at the bottom of the rankings. It’s okay, you’ll get there. Just remember, whatever you do, do not become the best coffee maker or copier handler…you want to eventually use your skills. Work on your diplomacy and shine in your complex work. You’ll be back on top in no time.

Tips to Transition Successfully from College

My favorite tip on how to transition successfully from college? Do it very carefully! Just like you would do anything else. Do your research, plan ahead and save as much as you can (while sneaking in a healthy amount of fun of course!). Don’t have too high of expectations either. Just try to live in each moment and enjoy what life is presenting to you right now. Eat your fruits and vegetables and read as many books that “take you away” as possible. Try not to take anything too seriously, and if the pain gets serious enough, call me.

 

About the Author

I am a counselor in Denver, Colorado and I work with fellow counselors, teens, young adults and individuals going through transitions, dealing with anxiety and/or depression and many other difficulties in life that we are all familiar with. I like to say that my door is always open and it’s true. If you are going through a transition such as graduating college, remember that your door is open too! Any time one closes, another…well, you know! I was a life guard all through college and even into grad school to help with my transition. Even though I wanted to become a professional lifeguard I became a licensed professional counselor instead 🙂

   ~ Katie