As I sit in my office writing this blog I can look out and see billboards. There are magazines on the table in my waiting area. And with one click on my computer I can watch TV, movies, sports, music videos, and much more. Meanwhile, I can hear people giving compliments to others about their appearance and what they are wearing. All of these are just some of the messages we receive that impact out self-esteem, our body image, and our confidence level.

For example, the fitness magazine on the table can send a message about what you should look like, what you should eat, what exercise or diet you should try, etc. The music videos can depict a particular look, attitude, and/or behavior someone should have. The commercials that we see on TV are about new products we should use, how one should look, and what things we need to have. These are just some examples I see.

While working in the schools and from being in school I notice we also receive messages, maybe even a stronger message from our peers, about how we should look, what we should wear, and how we are to behave. Don’t forget about the messages we receive from our family too…

I know from firsthand experience and from working with my amazing clients that all of these messages can take over our brain, our thoughts, our feelings, our behaviors, and we find ourselves fixated on the “changes” we must make, and what we need to do to get there, lowering our self-esteem, self-confidence, and impacting our day to day lives.

Where and when do we start to correct this, to change our mindsets, to live a happy, healthy, and confident life? From young girls and boys in elementary school, middle school, to young adults in high school, college and beyond, the transformation of building self-esteem, self-confidence, and practicing healthy habits can take place at any stage in life!!! Parents can create this transformation in their homes. School teachers, administrators, and staff can created this in the classroom, on the sports fields, and in the hallways, occupations can promote healthy self-esteem and wellness, and individually we can start to change our mindset, our perspective, our thoughts, feelings and behaviors.

Here are some tips to start this transformation for yourself!!!  

• Positive self-talk
• Challenge your inner critic
• Self-appreciation; celebrate the small stuff
• Stop comparing yourself to others
• Spend time with the supportive people in your life
• Exercise for your body and mind
• It’s ok to make a mistake; get away from perfectionism
• Focus on the things you can change, not the things you can’t
• Do things you find joy in
• Try something new
• Be kind to others and to yourself
• Give back

One coping skill that I personally use is music to help motivate me and inspire me. One video that really stood out to me is the song “Scars To Your Beautiful” by Alessia Cara! I thought the lyrics had a beautiful message and when I watched the video it was even more powerful. I hope this can also be inspiring to you!

Some of my favorite lyrics from the song:

There’s a hope that’s waiting for you in the dark
You should know you’re beautiful just the way you are
And you don’t have to change a thing, the world could change its heart
No scars to your beautiful, we’re stars and we’re beautiful

Other resources that have been helpful include the Dove Self-Esteem Project. It is a wonderful resource for teachers, parents, mentors, youth leaders, therapist, and many more to learn about self-esteem and how to help someone who is struggling. A quote from the website that I love is “Every girl should have a healthy relationship with the way they look.” 

When we build each other up and come together we are stronger, happier, and healthier! If we compete against each other and make it a competition, we are weaker, angry, sad, and alone.

Please reach out to me if you need extra support!

Warmly,

Katie

About the Author

It’s me! Katie! I started my practice with you in mind. Yes, you! I went through some hard times as a teen and with my family and from those experiences, I decided to pursue a career as a counselor to help others get through difficult times. I love working with teens, college kids and adults. I also work with fellow counselors. I work with a lot of people who struggle with self-esteem and which one of us doesn’t at some point? It’s a natural, and difficult part of many of our lives (unless you’re perfect or something!!!). I’ve written even more articles to help, so feel free to look around on my site. Another great one to read is “Keeping a Positive Spin on Life.”

Resources

I follow some really great blogs where there is even more help to work on self-esteem. My favorites that I looked to in this blog were from the Positivity Blog’s article: How to Improve Your Self-Esteem with 12 Easy Steps and ReachOut.com’s piece: Steps to Improve Self-Esteem.