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First of all, Mom, Dad, and parental guardian – don’t feel awkward about this topic. It’s totally normal and arguably healthy to engage in masturbation as a teen. In fact, it’s a wonderful opportunity to talk to your kid about sex before they begin to interact with others sexually. 

 

And if you’re still trying to hide from this, parents… don’t! It’s inevitable. Inevitable. Yep. It’s happening or going to – so let’s talk about it. 

 

Let’s talk about it. 

 

Actually, it’s a great way to intro the topic. Seriously. Kids are smart. We don’t need to call things the “birds and the bees” anymore. You can simply say: “So, it’s that time. Kids your age start to touch themselves and maybe you are already. You don’t need to tell me about it, but if you want to, just know I’m here.”

 

You can follow with, “As a parent, I get to have these ‘fun’ conversations with ya!” As your teen rolls their eyes, you can discuss the green light and red light parts of masturbation – aka, what’s okay and what needs to be addressed that are outside the bounds of a healthy relationship with their own sexual organs. 

 

 

What’s okay and what’s not okay?

 

As the guardian, that’s largely up to you – however, these are guidelines from my experience in this area with adolescents, teens, and parent figures.

 

• It’s okay to masturbate, even daily, but never in public
• It’s okay to touch yourself in private, but going on the Internet or broadcasting is never ok, never send videos or pictures to anyone or put them online
• Interacting with anyone online during masturbation is a strict no
• If you want to talk about it, talk to people you trust and feel safe with
• Watching porn or adult sexual scenarios is not ok
• Masturbating to the point you are physically hurting yourself is not healthy
• Having healthy fantasies or thoughts is ok, ask your parent, caregiver or counselor what is healthy and unhealthy. 
• Private area, private space, alone, and clean up. 

 

Hopefully for you, problems don’t arise from this coming of age sexual development with your child or teen. However, some parents and parent figures do. Sometimes it can become an obsession, or your teen masturbates too frequently or too openly. Don’t be embarrassed or shame yourself as a parent if this happens. 

 

Remember, your teen’s brain is still developing and they need to be told and taught boundaries.

 

Whatever you do, parents, remember not to instill any sense of shame when this topic enters into your life. It’s natural! 

 

Still lost? Want some help? My door is always open!

 

 

Peek Counseling for Teens in Denver, Colorado

 

My name is Kate Bisbee-Peek and I started Peek Counseling in Denver to help support adolescents, teens, and parents navigate life. My goal is to calm chaos in your home and relationships and help support you with positivity. If life has been a bit much for you – counseling can help. Just click here to book your complimentary consultation. 

 

I can’t wait to meet you.