When people let you down, it’s hard to rebuild your trust in that person, maybe even humanity. And like so many things that comes in “waves” in “threes” or “rains when it pours,” letdowns can happen all of a sudden by several people in your life. It’s the worst feeling.
What do you do when this happens to you? Some people feel like not answering their phones, not reaching out to anyone, “hiding” and withdrawing. It’s not healthy, but it’s a human reaction when people let you down to go into protective mode. After all, we’ve just been badly hurt, and deeply.
When People Let You Down, Cry. It’s Okay.
You need a release. Don’t bottle it up, take yourself somewhere cozy and have a sobbing cry. Let it out. Scream if you have to. Get upset! These people let you down! They disappointed you! And, they didn’t care about how it would make you feel. In fact, they didn’t care about you at all! Go ahead and cry.
The pain needs to go somewhere. Afterwards, you’ll feel a little better and we can work on the next steps. Now, deep breaths. Without a good cry, this pain comes out sideways and could just create more problems. Letting it out with tears can help you isolate this pain instead of starting to add resentment to it. Be vulnerable and cry. It’s ok.
Why People Let Us Down.
You’ll think this is cliche, but it’s not you it’s them. Promise. I so promise you this. They are in their own world, everyone is. Everyone has their own set of issues and fears that they deal with every day just like you. That’s not to excuse it if your husband forgets your birthday or your best friend has blown you off for the tenth time in a row, but if we can be the understanding one, we’ll cause less physical pain to ourselves and reduce the risk of getting into a fight with someone who let you down by verbalizing your pain to them.
People let us down by:
- Forgetting important dates
- Not calling, only texting
- Failing to return texts or calls
- Leaving us out, then posting pictures on social media
- Saying they will help us, but then never actually following through
- Always saying we should meet up, but never actually trying
- Not visiting or coming over
- Bailing on plans last minute
- Never joining us on things we invite them to
You are worth everything.
So, if someone was unfair to you, or hurt your feelings, and you want to address it, definitely do! A counselor can help you figure out the best way to approach it as well as thinking about a positive outcome as a goal for the conversation. And, a counselor will be there for you afterwards, supporting you and your feelings after you talk to your loved one.
Counseling helps when people let you down because your counselor is your confidante and unwavering supporter. Your safe place. You’ll also need to do a lot of self-care when people let you down. What are some more ways that you can heal when people let you down?
Hang Out With a Tree or an Animal.
Something my friend did recently to reset was to unplug, take a blanket outside, grabbed some coffee table books, read and layed outside until she felt better.
Closing her eyes, she listened to the sound of the wind, the birds, and the sounds in the air and was able to tune into a peaceful place, restoring herself.
And then her puppy came running outside with lots of sloppy, loving kisses. Okay, she thought, there is love in the world. Animals and nature are missing ego. Without ego or agenda, animals and nature remind us of super basic love and peace. It feels good.
Journal and Burn.
Another way to move on after people disappoint you?
Haha, this one is a little funny. How about writing down your actual sh*t list?
Okay, maybe JUST use initials, but write down everything they are letting you down about and get it all out of your system. This needs to be on a piece of paper, because afterwards? Either tear it up vigorously into little tiny pieces or, even better, burn it. And, with it? All those feelings, grudges and pain.
It seems funny to do, but seriously, it works really, really well. Something about getting the feelings out on paper and then destroying them in a physical way helps diminish them in your mind too. Worth a try for sure.
Sweat.
Honestly, this will be hard. You’re not going to want to go for a run, yoga or go to the gym, but just get out there. Your body needs the endorphins to get through this pain. It’s literally chemical. Right now, you’re in need of some positive energy and the way to create it is through physical activity. It will help you so much. If there’s any possible way for you to sweat today, you can do it, get on out there!
It’s an Ongoing Choice to See the Positive.
Here’s the thing. Doing all of this will help, 100%, but each day will bring a new set of challenges. Taking care of your mental and physical health is the only way to stay resilient to whatever life throws at you, which will be a lot, for sure. Having a counselor you trust, getting exercise, not isolating yourself, crying when you need to, deep breathing, stretching, laughing, all of these things will help so much.
Life is a challenge! And when people let you down, you might feel a little lost. My door is always open if you could use someone in your corner about now. I’m here for you.
About the Author
My name is Katie and I am a counselor who likes to see the bright side of life, as well as acknowledge the struggles we all go through too. My clients have gone through transformations and have grown stronger and able to cope better in life. I believe in counseling as a tool for a well-balanced life. It’s just as important as taking your vitamins and physical activity.
Sometimes it’s hard to find a perfect match for a counselor. If you want to, email me for a 30-minute meet and greet with me to see if you feel comfortable coming in for a counseling session.
I look forward to hearing from you. ~ Katie