For many, life is nothing more than one great big test and day-to-day activities are haunted by a constant fear of failure. Perfectionism, where one strives for unrealistically high standards and is never satisfied with themselves can be incredibly destructive. Don’t do it to yourself!

Why Perfectionism Delays Us

Perfectionism can cause us to procrastinate and to never be able to enjoy the moments of life as they come. Many think that if they can just be this weight, or have this amount of money, or be this funny that then they’ll be able to enjoy life.

However, time passes on. As you wait to reach a standard of perfection all of the pleasures and joys of life are flying by. The Illusion of Perfection In truth, perfection is a trap. It’s nothing more than an abstract concept; it doesn’t really exist.

Have you ever looked at someone and thought “wow, if I could just look/be like them everything would be perfect.” I’m sure if you took a look at their life you’d find that they have their own qualms with themselves and plenty of insecurities. I’m sure you’d find that they have plenty of their own problems. All of the celebrities and models considered to be extremely beautiful have plenty of detractors. There’s always something to find problems with and there’s always going to be room to improve.

 

Comparing our Inside With Everyone’s Outside

Human beings have a tendency to look at others as being better than themselves. We all, whether we try to or not, present ourselves differently than how we truly are. You know your own thoughts, doubts, insecurities and failures better than anyone else. There are plenty of things that we are afraid to admit even to ourselves. Though we know these things about ourselves, we never hear of anyone else’s struggles leading us to believe that we are all alone. In truth, everyone has mean thoughts, doubts about the future, fears, insecurities, failed attempts.

Social media has only exacerbated this. Now, not only are we left comparing ourselves to the perfect image of celebrities, even friends and family members now present a carefully edited facade to the world. We’re left wondering why our lives are so boring in comparison. It’s important to realize this for what it is, nothing more than an illusion.

Everyone, no matter how perfect they seem on the outside, has faults. When we realize this we can become more accepting of both our own shortcomings, as well as those of others that are supposed to be “perfect.”

 

Learning to be Happy with Good Enough (You’re Already Perfect!)

Though perfectionism is destructive, there’s nothing wrong with having high standards and striving for excellence. Learning from failures and mistakes allows us to grow. However, it’s important to learn to be happy with progress and improvement. Striving to become better doesn’t mean that you have to hate the person you are right now. Learn to be happy with small successes and to see failure, not as a blow to your self worth, but rather merely as an opportunity to learn and grow.

About the Author

Katie Bisbee-Peek is a counselor who can relate to teenage issues. With experience as a school counselor, Katie got a *peek* into high school life and drama every day for years, understanding the magnified pressure on kids who are still developing mentally and physically. If you think counseling could help right now, click here to email me about scheduling a meet and greet to see if it’s a good fit for your teen, yourself, or your family.