Love is a double-edged sword. It’s yin and yang. It’s hot and cold (and lukewarm). It’s deceiving, honest, appreciative, hurtful, kind, lonely, overwhelming… and full of feelings! We fall in love through no fault of our own. Do we just connect in their eyes? Were we always meant to be? When you know, you know! But, we can also fall out of love, or out of infatuation and see someone’s true colors (with our feelings changing permanently for that person).
“One taught me love. One taught me patience.”
And the lyrics continue…
“And one taught me pain
Now, I’m so amazing
I’ve loved and I’ve lost
But that’s not what I see
So, look what I got
Look what you taught me
And for that, I say
Thank you, next (next)
Thank you, next (next)
Thank you, next
I’m so f$%#@ grateful for my ex
Thank you, next (next)
Thank you, next (next)
Thank you, next (next)”
Learning Through Dating, Love and Loss
When a new relationship starts, we’re all a flutter!! We can’t stop thinking about that person, maybe can’t stop checking out their social media profiles, or even talking nonstop about them to family and friends. It’s so much fun!!!
After the first initial time spent together though, we (yes, all of us!), go through a period where we get comfortable and let our guard down. Noticeably, it can start to be that the person you were dating starts asking you to pay for things more and more (that’s totally okay unless they were really lying about their financial status to get into the relationship only to find out that you are paying for everything now, that’s a red flag).
Sharing is good, but things should be even, or if they’re buying everything… get more information. Don’t assume that it’s a gravy train! And, having your independence financially should always be part of your MO. (Just in case they turn into a Dirty John!)
Seeing the Red Flags in Dating and Protecting Yourself
If you feel anything less than wonderful in your relationship, consider if that’s because of areas you need to improve on, or if it’s the character of your S.O. (and potentially unchangeable). If you think there are things you can work on, try to make that a priority. You know what to do! Counseling and meditation for your mental health, exercise and nutrition for your physical health.
But, if the problem is your girlfriend or boyfriend and you’re dating to truly find the one, consider Ariana Grande’s advice….
“I’ve got so much love (love)
Got so much patience (patience)
I’ve learned from the pain (pain)
I turned out amazing (turned out amazing)
I’ve loved and I’ve lost (yeah, yeah)
But that’s not what I see (yeah, yeah)
‘Cause look what I’ve found (yeah, yeah)
Ain’t no need for searching
And for that, I’ll say
Thank you, next (thank you, next)
Thank you, next (thank you, next)
Thank you, next
I’m so f$%#@ grateful for my ex
Thank you, next (thank you, next)
Thank you, next (said thank you, next)
Thank you, next (next)
I’m so f$%#@ grateful for my ex.”
Mindful Dating: Never Settle for Anything Less
Did he/she cut you off mid-sentence? Blow you off for days, then demand to see you on one of your busiest work weeks? Does he/she persuade you not to go to the gym/go out with your friends/wear x, y, z? Maybe it’s time to say: thank u, next. Because you truly deserve the world (and moon, and stars!). There really, actually, truly are so many fish in the sea. If you’re in the midst of dating and wondering if you’re going to find “the one,” don’t lose confidence, get on out there and shine girlfriend! Keep your eyes open, your heart wide and your brain tuned up. Experiencing life is the point of life, and as Ariana says… you learn and gain something awesome from each one!
Thank u, next!
About the Author
Katie Bisbee-Peek is a young adult herself, specializing in counseling for adolescents, teens and young adults. She knows how to tune into young hearts and feelings, helping them build self-esteem and learn ways to cope with growing up and into adulthood. Have things been hard lately? Consider coming in for a session with Katie. Just click here to email me about availability.
