Taking care of friendships can be as important as taking care of your family and yourself. Friendships are a special aspect of life. Growing up, we learn the importance of family first. Truly, family is a bond that is unlike any other. You can’t change who your family is… or can you?
Quotes on Taking Care of Friendships
I read quotes all the time on social media and some really hit home. I love reading good quotes on things that mean alot to me… like friendships! And, some quotes really make you stop and think. When it comes to friendships and relationships we “choose” on our own… why is it that we pick some over others? Why are we drawn to some people and just don’t “click” as well with others?
“Friends are like melons; shall I tell you why? To find a good one you must a hundred try.” – Claude Mermet, French Poet
We meet people and sometimes instantly bond. Is it a feeling? Is it the warmth you experience when someone really listens to your stories? Is is the loyalty and bond you have when you know you can really count on someone? It’s all of it! It’s anything really. It’s whatever you make of it, and everything you put into it. Heard that before somewhere? Yep! It applies to nearly everything in life and especially in taking care of friendships.
Just Sitting Next To Your Friend
Once I had a realization. All you have to do is sit next to your friend. Well, of course, there is more to it, but really, when we love another person, you just need to be there. Sit by them. Hold their hand. Give them a smile. Just be next to them. This is one, very important, maybe the most important, part of taking care of friendships. Being there.
“‘Stay’ is a charming word in a friend’s vocabulary.” – Amos Bronson Alcott, American Philosopher
When you’re just there and around for your friend’s both special and mundane moments, they will share more with you and you must protect what you learn. Just sitting next to your friend is the nurturing part of maintaining your friendships. Sit near your friend and be near as much as you can in order to show your effort and love. You’ll see that with consistency, your relationships that you “show up for” and don’t casually disregard when you make a new friend, will be rewarded with trust, loyalty, joy and a bond that can’t be undone even with the troubles of time.
Knowing Real Friendship
While family can hurt us just as deeply as friends, family we don’t always choose, yet with friends, we are the ones who do the picking usually. How do we know when a friendship is untrue or when it’s time to devote more time to other friendships? It’s hard. There is no easy answer. You really need to look deep inside yourself and ask yourself how you feel when you are with that person. When they leave, do you miss their presence? Do you find the time passing quickly when you’re together. Do you both laugh and cry together? Then you probably found a great one and hold on!
“Friendship is like a bank account: you cannot continue to draw on it without making deposits.” – Edgar W. Howe, American Novelist
Yet, with others, do you find yourself struggling to come up with things to talk about? Do your conversations drift into talks about others instead of hopes, dreams and laughs? Do they tell you secrets that no one should have to bear for another? Do they do harm to others or talk behind people’s backs? If so, you may want to consider keeping them as an acquaintance for both your own benefit and for theirs. For you see, if they are resorting to these kinds of activities, it could be in fact that they need to find a better friend for them so that they too are uplifted.
There can always be kindness, but if you feel these feelings, it is time to evaluate. Remain present, but perhaps share your time and energy with those you feel the most happiness and where they also feel the most happiness. Then, your friendship is on equal footing and you are able to give to each other, verses inadvertently taking from them (and your own energy stash!).
Friendships That Last
This is not to be confused with friendships that turn due to life’s challenges. If you really love your friend, then you know as a human yourself that life has a funny way of becoming chaotic all of a sudden. Also, the fragility of human life means that illness, loss, betrayal, or any other type of pain can happen. For those you love most, this is when they need you the most.
“The best way to keep friendships from breaking is not to drop them.” – Rabbi Hillel
Hold on to your cherished friendships and be good to those you love and yourself. Be aware of the energy you feel when you are with them and what you are giving off. Remember their triumphs and anniversaries, no matter how big or small. It truly is the thought that counts when it comes to taking care of friendships. Be the best friend you can be and you’ll discover the love come back to you a million times over!
Cheers to friendships!
About the Author
Katie Bisbee-Peek is a Denver area therapist who specializes in helping others through life in its many moments. Katie specializes in adolescent, young adult and individual counseling. As a believer in the power of friendships and kindness, she seeks to bring real life into her practice with practical guidance and a listening ear (with a few laughs of course!). Sometimes, you need a counselor to listen when talking to a friend would not be appropriate or you feel it would be uncomfortable. Counseling can help get you through difficult circumstances with friends (or any troubles you may experience in life). If you want to give it a try and are going through a hard time or could use a listening ear, please click here to schedule a quick call or get together to see if Peek Counseling could be a good match for you. “My door is always open!” – Katie