Yes, I am talking about the movie Mean Girls, this type of thing really does happen. I have to say it is not just in elementary, middle, or high school, let’s go ahead and add college, the work environment, with other professional colleagues, with friends, even between family members. Also, they are not just girls, boys can be mean too.
Putting people down, bullying, shaming, using power over another person, cyber bullying, creating a burn book, and just being flat out mean happens to us. How do we overcome it, get through it, and move forward, do we face it head on?
At every age the way to handle “mean girls,” looks very different. In school, I believe it is best to let an adult know, there are hotlines to call (Safe2tell 877-542-7322. www.Safe2Tell.org), tell a friend, teacher, coach, counselor, therapist, partner, ANYBODY, let someone know what is going on.
In counseling, yes, we will talk about what has been going on, how to appropriately handle it, how to advocate for yourself, to be assertive (not aggressive), to create tools and skills to use for the rest of your life.
As we get older we find “means girls” in college, at work, with friends, within our families, so now what? Do we stand up to our boss? There is a huge fear of getting fired, what is the right thing to do? What do we do at the Holiday party when all the cousins are there, what do we do about our loving mother-in-law that tends to be a bully and give back-handed compliments? What about your roommates, does it turn into a blow-out fight, what if you are the “mean girl?”
These are all emotions, feelings, thoughts, situations, that should not be held in. Talk to a trusted friend, counselor/therapist, don’t just hold them in deep, deep, down for fear that it can affect you internally, your self-esteem, and within your everyday life. You may just explode one day.
More than anything else, the way you are being treated is not ok, we can find ways to handle these situations. Sometime talking to an outsider, someone that is non-judgmental, can give you a different perspective and clarity that you are looking for.
Let’s be real, there are mean people out in the world, you don’t have to face them alone.
~Katie