Feeling excluded by friends lately? It’s a familiar sting.
You scroll through your Instagram feed, and there they are: your friends, laughing, posing, enjoying each other’s company. A perfect snapshot of a shared experience. Except, you weren’t there.
You were the one left behind, the invisible friend. And the FOMO (fear of missing out) that usually accompanies these posts feels different this time. It’s a heavy weight of feeling excluded, a reminder that you’re not as close as you thought.
Maybe you’re going through a rough patch, or maybe you’re just feeling insecure. Whatever the reason, it’s okay to acknowledge that the feeling of being left out hurts.
Here’s the thing: It’s not about the picture. It’s about the underlying feeling of not being included, of not being a part of something you wish you were. It’s about the quiet voice in your head whispering, “Are they having fun without me? Do they even care?”
It’s okay to feel this way. Don’t let anyone tell you to “get over it” or “stop being so sensitive.” Your feelings are valid.
Here are a few things you can do:
- Talk to a counselor you trust. Sometimes, simply voicing your feelings to someone who cares can help make sense of the situation. Plus, it’s confidential.
- Don’t compare your life to theirs. Social media is a curated highlight reel. Remember, everyone has their own struggles.
- Focus on your own happiness. Spend time with people who make you feel good, pursue your own passions, and cultivate your own sense of self-worth.
- Reach out to your friends if you feel comfortable talking to them about how you feel. Perhaps they simply forgot to invite you, or maybe they were unsure if you’d be interested. And if you feel in your gut that they shouldn’t be part of your world anymore, keeping it positive and lightly drifting away for a bit can help things clear up in your mind before you make any decisions.
Remember, you’re not alone in feeling left out. We all experience it from time to time. Be kind to yourself, and don’t be afraid to reach out for support.
It’s easy to feel like you’re the only one going through this, but trust me, you’re not alone. Yet many young adults experience feelings of isolation, especially when it comes to social media, where everyone seems to be having the time of their lives. It can be tough to see pictures of your friends having fun without you, leaving you questioning your place in their lives (and theirs in yours).
It’s important to remember that social media is a curated highlight reel.
The reality of their lives is likely much more nuanced. And even if your friends are genuinely having a great time without you, it doesn’t mean they don’t care about you or value your friendship. It might just be that their social circles are evolving, and they’re discovering new interests that don’t include you. It is ok to also through a natural life change of friendships and time spent together. Friendships change over time including yours.
Don’t let those feelings of exclusion define your self-worth. Focus on nurturing the friendships that truly matter and remember, you are worthy of belonging and you will find your group, even if it takes time. And most importantly, remember that your worthiness isn’t defined by whether or not you’re included in a picture. You are loved, you are worthy, and you are enough.
About Katie Bisbee-Peek | Peek Counseling
Katie Bisbee-Peek is a licensed professional counselor (LPC) in Denver, Colorado. As the owner and founder of Peek Counseling, Katie works with young adults, teens, families and fellow counselors. Her office is located in a vibrant urban neighborhood in Denver – Cherry Creek. Her office is easily accessible and has a bright and cheerful atmosphere. Peek Counseling focuses on providing a welcoming and accessible space for clients in an approachable way – with a touch of humor and fun!
Reach out to set your initial consultation or to set up a therapy appointment.
