Body image is a sensitive subject. As you change from a child to a teenager, and then finally to an adult, your body goes through a lot of changes. It can be difficult to adjust to all of this, especially as you’re simultaneously adjusting to mental changes (teen brain, yes, it’s a thing!), new schools, new friends and so much more. Growing up, all teens have difficulty adjusting to the changes their bodies are rapidly going through as they approach adulthood.
Physical Changes Make Growing Tough
Many teens struggle with actual physical changes. A sudden growth spurt may leave you feeling awkward, clumsy or gangly looking. Acne can leave you feeling self-conscious. Changes in weight, or changes in weight distribution (especially for girls) can be difficult especially as in many cases you may have to adjust to a completely different wardrobe. (ahhhhh, so frustrating…)
Growing up, so many teenagers compare themselves with one another (it’s even easier now with the advent of social media). It’s common to wonder if we’re developing either too early or too late. Am I too small? Too big? Am I normal? Unfortunately for many young people, growing into your body is a time of great insecurity. But if you know that these feelings are universal for everybody, it makes it just a bit easier to get through (seriously, we all feel just as weird as you do! Promise!)
Body Positive Affirmations Help
Due to the influence of the media or just society in general, many of us see our bodies as nothing more than living, walking, talking art exhibits. You are so much more! Your body is capable of running a marathon, climbing mountains, and one day maybe even creating a new life.
Below are some affirmations to remind yourself that your body is more than just something to look at, it’s functional, beautiful, and capable of so many things.
“My body is worthy of love and respect”
“I love my body, right now, just as it is- today and in this moment”
“Others’ opinions of my body doesn’t affect me and doesn’t involve me”
“My body is capable of so many things and allows me to experience the pleasures and opportunities of my life”
“I am more than just my looks”
“My body is unique and I don’t need to look like anyone else”
A Body Image True Story…
A friend of mine struggled a lot with body image when she was in middle and high school. I thought she looked perfectly normal, beautiful actually, but she just didn’t see it. My friend was hung up on all sorts of little perceived flaws and felt even worse as it seemed like boys never paid her any attention. She became obsessed with losing weight even though she was already perfectly healthy.
Her obsession began to control her life.
She stopped enjoying any events where food was involved, unable to have fun and savor the moment, she only saw it as an opportunity to slip up. She wouldn’t even go shopping anymore, unwilling to buy clothes until she had reached her “goal weight.” Despite my telling her how she was beautiful and that she just needed to have confidence, it really didn’t affect her much. In most cases, it just made her upset. She was really struggling with her body image.
Eventually, however, I think things began to change.
There was a girl in one of the classes we shared who my friend thought was absolutely gorgeous. In some ways this girl was like a celebrity that she compared herself to. This girl, who was actually quite nice, always came in with very stylish clothes, very well done hair and a full face of makeup. One day, her style changed quite a bit and she looked quite casual. It made my friend realize that underneath all that, the girl who she thought was a goddess was in reality just another person.
Takeaways…
Well, she began to realize that everyone looks “not so great” sometimes (let’s be honest, ha!) and that there’s so much more to others, and to herself, than just outward attractiveness. I remember my friend had developed a big crush on one of the boys in our classes. She said that initially she wasn’t all that physically attracted to him but because of common interests and his personality she began to like him quite a bit more.
It made her realize that just as she didn’t judge others solely off their physical attractiveness, perhaps neither did other people (or at least people worth getting to know). My friend realized that there was a lot more to her and to others than just their face or body.
She realized that just as she didn’t pay all that much attention to other people’s minute little flaws (she accepts people genuinely for who they are always), neither did others! In fact, in this upcoming Amy Shumer film, I Feel Pretty, she dares to live as the beautiful person that she is, finding that so many amazing doors are opened to her (love, success, career, friends) when she simply begins to love herself! (It is funny and a good message! Check out the trailer below).
You don’t need to be so hard on yourself. And, you’re probably the toughest one on yourself. I promise you can be softer on yourself. And, I’m here for you. Counseling can help when nothing else has. My door is always open.
About the Author
When you get to the point where you are looking in the mirror and breaking down in tears, trying to hide your feelings during the day, fretting about what to wear, shying away from social events and more… you might want to try something new. As a counselor for teens and young adults, my office has seen so many individuals struggling with their body image.
It’s tough out there and judging yourself in your own body can be such an overwhelming experience. Counseling is an outlet for frustration and anger with yourself. If you feel stressed each and every day about your body image, I can help. Get the conversation started and know that my door is always open when you’re ready.