Disclaimer: if you are in immediate danger or are currently suicidal call 911 or go to your nearest emergency room.
The film 13 Reasons Why is a dramatic series focusing on modern day teenage mental health struggles and life challenges. The things that happen to the main character and new girl at school, “Hannah” are more than unfortunate. Warning, this is a spoiler alert. Don’t read any further if you don’t want to learn about the plot or are sensitive to graphic information….
With that said, scroll below to read more.
Okay, this blog was hard to write.
One because it is about a really hard subject, which I’ll reveal in one second, but the other is because by talking about it, I don’t want to diminish or bring attention to any part of the story in any way that isn’t proportionate. It’s just heavy and involves very sensitive subjects, so please bear with me.
Here is the plot essentially in just a few sentences. Hannah, the main character, is a teenager who has recently moved to town and is the new kid at school in her local high school. While she struggles to make friends, she finds a few gems, only to be disappointed later.
For example, one of her first friends is gay, but hasn’t yet come out. During a prank they are trying to pull on a stranger who keeps appearing outside Hannah’s house (that’s a whole other story), the “liquid courage” the girls drink causes Hannah’s friend to engage in some touching and a kiss. The stranger they are trying to pull the prank on happens to catch everything on camera and exposes it at school. While their names are never mentioned explicitly, most of the school has their suspicions. Mortified, Hannah’s friend deserts her, leaving her back at square one of making friends.
One by one, each of Hannah’s friends let her down in her mind.
The series ramps up even further when Hannah is the witness to a date rape and then is raped herself. In another harrowing incident, a fellow student giving her a ride home hits a stop sign and knocks it down. Hannah insists on calling the police, but her schoolmate declines and drives off. Later, it is revealed that the cause of a later deadly accident of a different classmate was due to the downed sign.
Let’s take a collective breath now. Whew. Wow. I told you it was heavy!!! So, I just can’t even get into the details of how those incidents made me feel while watching the episodes. Heartbreaking is definitely one feeling I had, (along with shock and wanting to help through the TV somehow, illogical I know!!).
But what I pulled out of the show was little bit more “every day.”
It was a section of the series during Valentine’s Day week when the kids had anonymous “compliment bags” and Hannah was receiving a picture of a bunny each day. After Zach, a schoolmate who tried to woo Hannah is “snubbed” by her, he decides to take psychological revenge on her. In essence, he bullies her in a passive aggressive way by taking all of the compliment notes out of her bag each day.
That another human would knowingly take away someone’s joy is one of the most painful parts of the series for me. For no reason other than to hurt them. And, that’s a lot like what bullying is. It’s someone hurting someone else for no other reason than to hurt them. It broke my heart to see this happen to Hannah in the series. But she later figured it out! She plants a note to herself knowing that the culprit will find it. (Here’s where it gets murky… second season will reveal some discrepancies here and for viewers, you know what I mean!).
Want to watch this part for yourself?
Tell me what YOU think! Have you or a loved one experienced anything like this? If so, know that my door is always open, especially for adolescents that are dealing with issues at school, relationships with peers and family, self-esteem or bullying.
13 Reasons Why Video Clip – Compliment Box
Who is actually “to blame”?
In the end of this series, one of the big topics that came from this series was the question of who actually killed Hannah Baker? She killed herself in the end, but many people including herself, pointed blame. I know this can be a tough discussion. From a mental health background, my perspective is that suicide is not one person’s fault. And, it’s not fair to put blame on others. In fact, even when it comes to bullying, even though it’s not ok, that person may also be suffering, hurting, or being bullied themselves. It’s a really complex issue.
While the series “13 Reasons Why” was labeled as controversial, I do recommend giving it a watch. Especially if you want to understand from a teen’s point of view how things can pile on top of each other to the point of severe depression and suicide. I would recommend watching it yourself before watching it with a teen as there are parts that are seriously graphic and can be a little bit hard to watch. It is a valuable lesson though of what a lot of teens go through at school and in life during that tender age.
If you notice someone is struggling with suicide or thoughts please contact someone. You can call 911 or the Colorado Crisis Hotline at 1844-493-8255 for immediate assistance. You can also go to trusted parent, adult, school personnel, other friends, a counselor… anyone. Some great resources are the Second Wind Fund and the Suicide Prevention Hotline at 1-800-273-8255.
Let’s all take moment and think about the interactions we have with people and what influences we have towards others. Don’t be afraid to smile at someone today and spread some kindness!
Warmly,
Katie