Grief: Heavy Stuff for Teens

 

———-   Trigger warning: loss and suicide  ———-  

 

As a teen counselor in Denver, Colorado, I have seen more than my fair share of seriously heavy stuff,  that adolescents really shouldn’t have to have on their plate – but they do. I am passionate about helping teens deal with grief. (You may have read my past article on Teen Suicide here.)

 

How to explain death to an adolescent

 

Many cultures tend to think of life as “ending” when we pass. Others believe that the soul proceeds to a place to either wait out eternity in bliss or return to the Earth in another form. In many religions and cultural groups, your ancestors live on and with you (especially in many Asian influenced parts of the world). 

 

No matter your personal view on death, there is one universal fact. Once someone passes away, we will never get to see them or engage with them in the same way that we did when they were here. How do you explain to a child or a teen when someone has left and won’t ever return?

 

There’s no magic answer for helping teens who are grieving

 

Just like adults, kids process information in different ways depending on the unique individual that they are, and the circumstances and relationship to the deceased. Whether it was sudden or expected and how close they were to the young adult all matter when it comes to grieving. 

 

The bottom line is there is no time line and no set path for them to follow to healing. As adults and caretakers, it’s our job to create space for those feelings. When I am counseling teens, I always try to listen first, and that would be my best recommendation to you. Just listen. Every time. Even if you’re busy, or have laundry to put away, listen to their memories that pop up that they want to talk about. Hear how they want to navigate their grief. 

 

Teen counselors can help with the grief process

 

As kids, we love our parents, but once we get to a certain age, it can be harder to talk to them about some things. A teen therapist who specializes in counseling that particular age group can be an asset after a loved one, classmate, or acquaintance has passed away. 

 

Remember that because teens are typically less experienced with death, every one is amplified. So, if the relationship didn’t seem “close” to you – if it was the postman they saw every day, or the school janitor, it can really disrupt their feelings of security. It all matters.

 

Has your adolescent or teen been through a loss recently? Please reach out. My door is always open and my heart is with kids who go through intense situations such as these. Without proper space to heal through grief, teens can start to be drawn toward depression, anxiety, and withdrawal from their support system. 

 

Consider reaching out for a complimentary consultation. I am here for you. ~ Katie

About Katie Bisbee-Peek | Peek Counseling Denver, CO: Katie Peek began Peek Counseling as a way to reach those in our community who need support most. She is a therapist for fellow therapists, as well as a counselor for young adults, teens and adolescents. She brings a sense of humor to her work and offers a safe place to simply be yourself and talk about how to cope with all the heavy and tricky things in life. Contact me here.